October 10th, 2009
Assalamalaikum,
I am Fallen Seeker, and I am a Muslim college student who has been addicted to both masturbation and pornography for 7 years. It is a dark and filthy world, and taints the purity of every aspect of life. It is a life of slavery. It is a life of shame. It is a life of filth – and I am committed to change.
Fallen Seeker is a diagnosis of where I am right now in my path of Islam, I have fallen astray, but I intend to quit the habit of masturbation, and annihilate any desires for porn.
This blog is a personal journal of my intention to purify myself from the addictions of pornography and masturbation.
I will post how many days it’s been since I have masturbated or have watched pornography. You can find “Fallen Seeker’s Record” on the top-right corner of the website. I will update the “Record” the morning after a successful day. This will motivate me at the beginning of the day to stay filth-free. This is an extremely hard thing to do but I think having a personal journal will allow me to analyze myself and my addiction and help me overcome it.
If anything, this can be a good psychological experiment for those who wish to analyze my journey to cleanse myself.
I will write posts maybe 2-3 times a week, maybe less. But I will always be honest about how many days I have gone porn-free, and masturbation free, and will always give updates. It’s extremely hard for me to expose myself in such a way, but I think it’s necessary.
May Allah help us stay clean from vain desires, and help us lower our gaze
Ameen
Update: check out my Changes post for updates on the new direction of the site.
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