Why Marriage isn’t a Complete Solution to Masturbation

27 03 2010

This post will mostly focus on why marriage isn’t the complete solution to becoming filth free, BUT it can be a large and influential force in becoming filth free. I will write up a post that  includes mostly ideas about how thinking about marriage before you are married can help you become filth free. I write in the male heterosexual perspective, which is why I mostly use phrases like “your wife” – but feel free to interchange the word with husband if you are a female.

  • Both can play a huge role in staying filth free,  depending on how you think about marriage. Eg: Do you only think of marriage in terms of having sex?
  • If you are addicted to masturbation and porn, there is a 99% chance that you will be addicted to it 5 years after you are married
  • Why? Because the sexual gratification of marriage is different than the sexual gratification of masturbation and porn
    • the entire idea of sexual intercourse  is about two people communicating in a very special way that is really a blessing from Allah SWT. It is about GIVING pleasure to your wife or husband out of love and affection. It is about caring about your wife’s pleasure more than your own, it is about sacrifice, it is about making sure she is comfortable the whole time, that she isn’t hurt or treated with out consideration, that she is treated with respect.
    • The entire idea of masturbation and porn goes against sexual intercourse because it is about TAKING, and SELF-SERVING. You just please yourself until you are satisfied and you move on, and that is why you feel so empty afterward, because there is someone else that is supposed to be there sharing the experience with you, who loves you and who you love.
    • Masturbation and porn teach you mental attitudes that completely oppose the mindset needed for a healthy marriage. Pornography is riddled with themes that reduce women to insatiable whores who worship men. It also is riddled with themes about power and authority, and it attempts to associate sex with power and authority and that should never be the case. Intercourse between husband and wife should be mutual, selfless, and harmonious. Pornography makes intercourse look savage, animalistic, selfish, and like a satanic ritual of  the worship of flesh, and this is where the power and authority association comes from.
      • So when you are so used to pleasing yourself, all you will want  is for your wife to please you, and you won’t even care about pleasing her. Your sexual life will be diminished and you will resort to porn and masturbation where you will please yourself as you always have done.
    • because the animalistic themes in pornography are not something that your spouse would feel comfortable with
    • because your spouse isn’t as unlimited in offering sexual gratification as pornography is
    • because your spouse will have a real human body, and the bodies and themes that are shown in pornography are exaggerated caricatures molded from plastic surgery and chemical enhancements, you will see your spouse as unattractive in comparison to the women in pornography
    • The reality is that Allah SWT has created our bodies, and if you find the artificial body of a whore more attractive than the natural one of your spouse created by Allah SWT – then you have deceived yourself by choosing filth over beauty. Moreover, there are perfectly good women out there who have no bad moral qualities and have never done any cosmetic surgeries or chemical treatments that may happen to be more physically beautiful than your wife. Just as there maybe some good and noble men that are more physically handsome than you are. However, what is important to note is that the best of judgments is the judgment of Allah SWT – and how just is He that he does not judge by the beauty of our bodies or our faces, but by the beauty of our hearts! He SWT judges us by our deeds and the purity of our hearts. So what right do we have to judge people, especially our (potential) wives by their appearance, when it is Allah SWT who created all of our figures and from the wisdom of our deen, we shouldn’t judge people for their appearance for which Allah SWT chose, and they had not chosen
    • you will forget that a relationship means much much more than sex
    • when your wife gets pregnant or older, you will undermine her, and betray her f0r what you think is more attractive in pornography
    • because when you are older and have kids, your life will be so busy that it will be hard to find time to have sex with your wife, and you will resort to porn instead because you didn’t give it up before your marriage
  • In conclusion, leave masturbation and porn before you get married. That’s what I am trying to do, and that’s what I want to do. It’s not as if you can’t leave it when you are married, but if you aren’t married yet, be sure to become filth free before you marry someone. No spouse deserves the burden of having a partner addicted to filth.

Next post will be about how thinking about marriage CAN help you become filth free.



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